Abstract Thought and Authenticity – part one

        “Falling under the influence of mass opinion, we become inauthentic because we neither seek nor create what is most meaningful to us as individuals.  When we live the way everyone else does, think the way everyone else thinks, and hold the same values everyone else holds, we do not use our freedom to create ourselves as unique individuals; instead we become slaves to a communal standard that more often than not, is mediocre and repressive.”                                                       Linda Patrik – Existentialist Literature

 

In the past I tried to tackle some abstract ideas, but I merely scratched the surface.  For every published post, there are three or four incomplete drafts.  I ask myself, and all who read this, is it necessary to complete an abstract thought?  In fact, is it not a sign of arrogance to claim complete understanding of an abstract idea? Indeed, such a claim is counterproductive; limiting the possibility for deeper revelation.  As I am on a quest for enlightenment, I shall endeavor to avoid the intellectual trap of arrogance. I hope that some of my half-thoughts compliment the half-thoughts of another.

 

Retrospection

            My decision to blog again has much to do with the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  I didn’t go into detail about how that day influenced my life in my early posts, truthfully, I skipped the experience entirely.  Everybody has their own version of that day, and each one carries a unique burden in that experience.  Those experiences should not be trivialized or diminished as so often happens when comparisons are made.  I have held my memory of that day close to my heart, protecting it from cynicism and recrimination.

            I avoided all media exposure on the anniversary.  Instead, I sat outside in the sunshine and read a romance novel, avoidance in a truly self-indulgent fashion.  When I had read the last page and the sun had dropped below the horizon I felt ashamed.  Without my distractions I began to feel that I had desecrated the sanctity of that day, that I had disrespected the memory of the lives that were lost.  Some days later I read a memorial blog that changed my perspective.

           From ‘Ephemera and Pseudo-Events’ by J.N. Nielsen:

                        “An anniversary is an arbitrary thing – the length of a year is utterly arbitrary – but it is natural to want to commemorate a loss, as it is natural to want to celebrate some joyous occasion. … To memorialize an event is to prevent its repetition, the render it singular, although we must relive the trauma in each memorialization.  Failure to memorialize an event means that it will be visited upon us time and again, though we will be spared the retraumatization of the continual consciousness of the event.”

             My experiences of that day have shaped every aspect of my life, but not in a negative way.  I honor the memory of that day by living each subsequent day with deep appreciation in my heart.  When I remember that day I don’t linger on images of destruction or fear, I am overcome by the humility and compassion I felt all around me.  I tremble not with grief, but with awe.  Remembering now feels like a renewal of hope, and hope and shame cannot coexist.